Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee mil gayi ab marne ke baad swarg milega!

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… The wives want both!

Ishq ke sahare jiya nahi karte,
Gum ke pyalo ko piya nahi karte,
Kuchh Nawab dost hain hamare,
jinko Pareshan na karo to wo yaad hi kiya nahi karte…

A boy on Date with girl in BMW.

Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I’m already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! tumne to dara hi diya, i thought this is not your car.

Question: What is the next thing one should do after winning an argument with the wife ?
Answer: Apologies !!!