Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee mil gayi ab marne ke baad swarg milega!

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… The wives want both!

A boy on Date with girl in BMW.

Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I’m already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! tumne to dara hi diya, i thought this is not your car.

Question: What is the next thing one should do after winning an argument with the wife ?
Answer: Apologies !!!

Man: Is there any way 4 long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of a long life will never come to you again!